Monthly Archives: July 2008

i don’t want to work, i just want to bang on the drum all day (or i need a vacation from my vacation)

i’ve got a case of the mid-summer blues. our family went to galveston beach over the 4th and i just can’t seem to get motivated to do anything, especially not any REAL work, but the state of affairs over at humor-blogs has me a little concerned. it’s worse than a bunch of associate professors vying for tenure. it’s publish or perish!!!

so i figured in the interest of keeping myself alive over there, i would bore you share some of my vacation photos. i love the idea of going to the beach, but in theory, i much prefer a nice pool, because i can only handle so much sand in my crack. our mini vacation consisted mostly of hanging out by the pool and sneaking cocktails from our room cos that how we roll.

spending six hours a day at the pool is hard work for a small boy.

tiredfinal.jpg

we ate out at almost every meal, which allows me to participate in one of my favorite activities.

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the last day we went to the kemah boardwalk, which has a bunch of rides. we got wristbands and the kids spent hours running around like little maniacs.

while we were there i noticed something that made me question whether my daughter is actually the fruit of my loins. if i hadn’t been there while i was pushing her from my own bodily orifice, i’d be convinced we share no common genes.

observe:

 ohhellnofinal.jpg

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ah, this boy is definitely mine.

 merryfinal.jpg

if you want to see more of my vacation photos, click on the flickr badge.

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if you want to rate me at Humor-Blogs.com please click on the LOL face. other smiley face doesn’t do caca.

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i’m going to bitch slap me a star effer

my sweet blog friend erin is always on top of things. today she just sent me the following gossip.

it seems that while i’ve been singing his praises, my boyfriend, jason statham, was recently seen on a date with that skanky, george clooney cast-off, sarah larson.

jason, jason, jason. if picking up george’s sloppy seconds is the way you want to go, then i just don’t know if we have a future together. i’m really disappointed in you. look, i know you have a thing for brunettes, but this chick is not even hot.

 let’s compare, shall we?

sl.jpg  me.jpg
  • scary-skinny girl, who got dumped by george
    AFTER she got a boob job. 
  • cocktail waitress in vegas with assorted gigs in
    which she appears semi-naked. star effing is
    not a career.
  • she’s slept with george clooney. that guy’s had
    more tang than all the astronauts put together.
    there’s no telling what she may have picked up.
  • real girl with real (big) boobs. 
  • i have my own money. i just want your body. and i have held a job for the last 10 years which has not required me to take off my clothes (unless it’s thursday and i’m not wearing any pants)
  • one guy since 1995. clean as a whistle.     
   
   

look jason, i’m willing to forget this all happened. as long as you agree not to see her anymore. i’m even willing to consider going brunette, just for you. as long as you know the carpet won’t match the drapes.

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