cheers and jeers

on new year’s eve, my husband and i elected to stay in and drink some wine that we have been storing in our wine refrigerator. my husband is an occasional wine connoisseur and has amassed a fairly impressive collection over the years.

my husband has connections to football royalty. his best friend is a guy we affectionately call “mr. peter.” mr. peter is the nephew of the owner of a major-league southern football team and various car dealerships located across the southwest united states.  i don’t want to completely give it away, but this team’s fan’s were once reduced to wearing paper bags over their heads to conceal their identities during their lean years. you figure it out.

mr. peter and my husband became friends during high school and their friendship has continued to this day, much to my dismay. they were each other’s best man (twice apiece). mr. peter is a middle-aged peter pan who grew up with everything handed to him on a silver platter and could probably have any woman he wants, but he continues to prefer the company of woman with really big boobs and strippers. this should tell you something.

when i married my husband, mr. peter came as a package deal. don’t get me wrong, i like mr. peter OK and he has been a very good friend to my spouse, but he himself, is a terrible husband. but he is generous, amusing, and generally has some pretty interesting stories to share.

so as we uncorked and drank our grape juice, my hubby asked if i’d like to hear an amusing story about the wine we were drinking.

one time mr. peter and my husband had gone to chicago with his uncle for an out-of-town game. the pregame dinner was located at a prestigious restaurant where many fine wines were served.

the owner of the restaurant approached mr. peter’s uncle as they were seated. the owner began chatting and said that recently, one of football team’s players, rickey jackson, had visited their fine establishment. the player said he wanted to order some of their finest wine.

after perusing the wine list and not finding anything to his liking, he called for the sommelier and stated, “yeah, do you guys have the wine with the two dudes?”

apparently there was some confusion on the part of the staff who were probably convinced he was talking about ernest and julio gallo, until someone brought this to the table:


 “yeah, that’s it! the two dudes!” he exclaimed.

i guess ponying up a couple hundred dollars for a bottle opus one is easy when you forego your child support payments for say, 11 years.

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