so i’m lurking around on facebook because i have no real life, and i come across this oddly out of place photo in bex’s stuff.

so i’m thinking “oopsie!! bexie you sly sexy bitch. apparently you have mistakenly uploaded some “for-don’s-eyes-only” naughty secretary role-play photos of yourself!”

and then i thought, “wow. don is really a freaky dude. he likes long skirts, and high neck blouses, and apparently he likes you to dress up like an asian chick…and…awww, FOR THE LOVE OF…bex is taking some professional photos for linkedin!!

uhhhhh, rebecca…come over here and let’s sit down and have a little talk.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? did you slip on a wet spot by the pool and fall and crack your head?

your life is so demanding and full of difficult decisions that have to be made every single freaking day. like, pool, beach, lunch, nap? or beach, pool, nap, lunch? or nap, lunch, beach, pool?

damnnit woman. why would you want to go and complicate things with a job? plus you have don running around, mixing up cocktails at your beck and call, while i plod around at my new little insurance job going through internet withdrawals.

seriously, you have issues. i certainly wouldn’t be working if i didn’t have to, but the cosmetic *ahem* enhancement fund was running a little low so i had to do something.

anyway, if you’re trying to get a job, you’re doing it all wrong. take if from someone who’s had to scratch and claw to keep one step ahead of the hot 20-somethings who are breathing down my neck.

THIS is how to dress for an interview.

geez, haven’t i taught you ANYTHING!? yah, you’re welcome.

in other news, next weekend we’re off to what’s left of galveston.

please forgive me father. it’s been 3 months since my last blog post. i’ve just been a little busy feeling sorry for myself and shopping at walmart in my PJs, and i had sort of left leighonline on the back burner.  plus when you’re having a personal pity party, it’s kind of hard to be funny.

then i got an email from my awesome blog admin ckelly that i owed him $150. thanks chris, for giving me just the push i needed.

anyway, so the good news is i got a job. i figured any job was better than just sitting at home, so i took it. the place is…how do i put this nicely?…pretty ghetto. so i fit in quite nicely, thank you. my girl, tresondria, and i chat about work stuff and where we get our nails done, and who’s weave is fly and she totally digs my highlights, and how we’re both really bummed that the bennigan’s next door went out of business.

the bad news is, apparently they have had some bad apples who have abused the internet privileges and everything is monitored at work. i haven’t tried to access my blog from work, but i’m afraid if i do, then they will catch it and block it.

so, i haven’t been blogging. i guess i could blog when i get home, but, well, that’s kind of my time. not that i don’t love you guys…if anyone is still out there.

they are also super-asses about personal phone use and i already got reamed about having my phone on VIBRATE for chrissakes! so now i keep it on silent and check it every once in a while. the hubs and i have even started texting each other so we can keep in touch surreptitiously during the day.

he’s really getting into it and i guess he realizes that there are all kinds of abbreviations that people use so they don’t have to spell out everything.  texting is new to him so i am largely amused by some of his messages. the other day he was supposed to meet with a co-worker who was flying in from jersey and who hadn’t contacted him in three days. finally, he just decided to drive to the hotel where the guy was supposed to be staying and see if he was there. here’s our messages, along with my translation.

me: what r u doing?

him: gg to hl.   (going to the hotel)

me: did u hear from him?

him: h is her   dent me rext at825  (he is here. sent me a text at 8:25)

me: he sent u a text??! wtf?

me: (later) r u done?

him: ok on my w h,e     (ok, on my way home)

the man is either seriously text-challenged, or he’s just decided anyone can invent their own text abbreviations.

in other news, i finally broke down and signed up on twitter. more on this later.