friends should not let friends get crappy jobs

workso i’m lurking around on facebook because i have no real life, and i come across this oddly out of place photo in bex’s stuff.

so i’m thinking “oopsie!! bexie you sly sexy bitch. apparently you have mistakenly uploaded some “for-don’s-eyes-only” naughty secretary role-play photos of yourself!”

and then i thought, “wow. don is really a freaky dude. he likes long skirts, and high neck blouses, and apparently he likes you to dress up like an asian chick…and…awww, FOR THE LOVE OF…bex is taking some professional photos for linkedin!!

uhhhhh, rebecca…come over here and let’s sit down and have a little talk.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? did you slip on a wet spot by the pool and fall and crack your head?

your life is so demanding and full of difficult decisions that have to be made every single freaking day. like, pool, beach, lunch, nap? or beach, pool, nap, lunch? or nap, lunch, beach, pool?

damnnit woman. why would you want to go and complicate things with a job? plus you have don running around, mixing up cocktails at your beck and call, while i plod around at my new little insurance job going through internet withdrawals.

seriously, you have issues. i certainly wouldn’t be working if i didn’t have to, but the cosmetic *ahem* enhancement fund was running a little low so i had to do something.

anyway, if you’re trying to get a job, you’re doing it all wrong. take if from someone who’s had to scratch and claw to keep one step ahead of the hot 20-somethings who are breathing down my neck.

THIS is how to dress for an interview.

cleavage

geez, haven’t i taught you ANYTHING!? yah, you’re welcome.

in other news, next weekend we’re off to what’s left of galveston.

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6 thoughts on “friends should not let friends get crappy jobs

  1. bex

    bwahaha!!! What can I tell you – my cosmetic fund is nonexistent and I’ve recently noticed that my boobs aren’t getting any younger! I can only aspire to have a crappy insurance job like yours. I’ve been out of the game so long…oy. Have a great trip!!!

    Reply

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