this could be the start of a beautiful relationship

it was so nice to see my visitor counter shoot up the other day. guess writing a post every now and then will do that for you. so here we are. just you and me. let’s talk.

some of you may have discovered my little site for this first time. and maybe you’re thinking, “you know, leighonline might just be my kind of blog.”

sweet! i would love nothing better. but before we go any further, like in all good laptop2relationships, there’s a few things you should know about me. 

i’m a mixed bag. i write about all kinds of crazy nonsense…like telecommuting in my underpants, using my rack to get a job, my undying lust for jason statham, and oogling hot construction workers at the gas station… it’s mostly all about me. and i get all types here. 

i’d love to get to know you better, but it would be unfair to not let you know just what direction this blog can go in. 

so just to gently ease you in, here’s some recent topics that have led googlers to my blog in search of answers. read at your own risk. the safe word is banana.

  • gratuitous displays of cleavage – it’s in there.
  • online with sexy mom – oh, yeah.
  • wild babe blog – me again.
  • fantasy football babe– omg. totally me.
  • milf bully –  haters.
  • can i get bedspreads like the ones on brady bunch? – uh sure, but let’s get back to me.
  • just show us your boob photos – sorry, first you have to read some of my posts.
  • call girl in leigh – all right, THAT’S enough.
  • how to fix a female mullet – sorry, you’re on your own.
  • things that make you say WTF – all freaking day long.
  • things that make you say “oh shit!” – mostly at work.
  • reverse cleavage – WTF? see, i told you.
  • drugs to make ass big – guilty…if margaritas are considered a drug.
  • why would husband have condoms in his car?– because he’s  USING them, dumbass!
  • is your husband an asshole he won’t eat supper – first check to see if there’s condoms in the car.
  • am i hott im bald? – if you have to ask, probably not.
  • jason statham hot bald; why are bald men so hot?; bald men is it hot or not?– ok, at first it was cute, but this bald insecurity thing is getting on my last nerve. BALD is hot. out of shape, flabby, and bald is not. next!
  • yul brenner makes me drool – a bib is in order.
  • white well hung amateurs ex-boyfriends – i totally wish i could take credit for this, but it wasn’t me.
  • what’s worth doing is worth doing for money – who are you people?
  • flip-flops intervention – problem? i don’t have a problem.
  • “barry manilow” gay?– i would totally answer this but i’m over the backlash from last time. (BTW, he TOTALLY is, so get over it!)
  • how can i find out if my daughter is a stripper? – have you checked her nails?
  • does jamie lee curtis have a penis? if she does, i have no idea where she’s hiding it.
  • rickey henderson’s penis– rickey’s penis is decidedly not here.
  • they’ve made stewie completely gay – no, he was born that way.
  • videos on fat men without sweater – so much worse than with a sweater.
  • i don’t want to work, i want to bang – yes.
  • i don’t wanna work– (from paris france) – we know this. the world knows this.
  • parent directory friends naked – the PTO would sell a lot more of these.
  • you ponr– to my indonesian friends, if you can’t spell it, you don’t really deserve to find it.
  • staked naked anthill – go the f*ck away.
  • boo barry homosexual– actually, my money’s on franken berry. the dude is pink.
  • homemade jerkoff machines– i’m not sure what combination of comments left by you faithful readers produced this hit, but thanks…thanks a bunch.

 

don’t say i didn’t warn you. and remember, i won’t be offended if you just want to be friends.

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5 thoughts on “this could be the start of a beautiful relationship

  1. Bex

    Ooooohhhhh…so you have to keep WRITING. THEN they come! I figured I was doing something wrong….

    I’m constantly getting ‘Bex naked’ types of google searches. Often from the Arab Emirates, where I, of course, don’t know anybody. I also get a lot of camel toe inquiries. Yep…I’d say this blogging thing is working out A-ok.

    Reply
  2. heyjoe00

    I’d love me one of those machines. And I can always count on you for a good hot chick pic to start your posts…well most of them anyway; gross, fat men come to mind as well.

    Reply
  3. drunkenstagger

    I just stumbled on to your blog and I’m just surprised that I’ve never seen it sooner! Have you ever thought about getting on youtube and just ranting everything out on video?? Honestly, you have a sense of comedy and wit that would be great to see!!!!

    Reply
  4. Cathe

    You are an evil genius. I couldn’t stop myself, I had to read every stinking post. It took me 2 hours and kept me from doing my job search stuff for the morning. Does this mean you’ll contribute to my unemployment fund? Seriously though, really, really enjoyed reading you. Good stuff.

    Reply

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