13 going on none of your damn business

the author at 13the other day during an admittedly immature conversation i was having with a friend, i was asked if i was feeling 12, to which the only appropriate response i could provide was, no, i’m 13. which got me thinking. what had caused my downward slide into my current state of continuing regressed adolescence? in fact, i think i may be a teenage boy. observe:

  • i watch reruns of family guy and think lois is a good mother.
  • i never hesitate to use a four-letter word when an equally inoffensive one would do just as well (not around the kids of course).
  • i worship at the alter of kevin smith.
  • i prefer the company of men to most females.
  • i find it hysterically funny that my six year old son once remarked after coming and sitting on my lap after i had been out working in the yard on a hot summer day, “ewww mommy, you smell like tuna!”

i think the shift began sometime during my years at college. one of three sisters, i was raised by a baby-boom mother who had always taught me that “a lady doesn’t XXX (you fill in the blank).” so i didn’t. however, after being repeatedly asked by my guy friends, “you don’t have any brothers do you?” in a slightly irritated and condescending way, i realized that apparently i had some huge glaring character flaw which made it obvious to all observers that i had not grown up privy to the peccadillo’s of the male of the human species and had little ability to hide my disdain for them.

so i began to observe how boys behaved. i watched the nonchalance of their interactions. i studied their vernacular. i discovered the joys of raunchy teen movies. i read about sports. i learned how to inconspicuously pee in a lake after drinking a lot of beer while water skiing. i let go of my pre-conceived goody-girl notions. in essence, i learned how to just hang with the guys. and if i didn’t completely embrace all the testosterone fueled, Y-chromosome-based behaviors, well at least i learned how to fake it pretty good.

which brings me back to the present. i wouldn’t say i seek out the company of men over women. it’s just that typically i find them not as complicated, less conniving, more forgiving, easily amused, and the same level of maturity.

so, i guess it all boils down to this: you’re only as young, or as immature as you feel. and maybe, eventually, i’ll act my age. but probably not.

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3 thoughts on “13 going on none of your damn business

  1. Hanni

    Maybe my niece should take lessons from you. We were at the lake–not drinking beer or jet skiing, just hanging out–and she said she needed to wee. I told Baby Paige (who is 3) to go stand in the water and do it there. So she does…stand in water up to her ANKLES, a stream of yellow noticeably flowing. The 8-year-old playing next to her yells, “Mommy she’s peeing!” Paige didn’t miss a beat. Paige’s auntie on the other hand–after receiving glares from Paige’s Mommy–realized she had some ‘splaining to do.

    Reply
  2. Erin

    Hi Leigh,

    I love your new blog! I’m a friend of Hänni and girlfriend of Chris so I thought I’d stop by and say, “welcome to the blog neighborhood.”

    I’m looking forward to reading about your continued adventures in life and motherhood while trapped in the mind of a 13 year old boy 😉 you aren’t hiding playboys under your mattress right now are you?

    ~Erin

    Reply

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