the other day during an admittedly immature conversation i was having with a friend, i was asked if i was feeling 12, to which the only appropriate response i could provide was, no, i’m 13. which got me thinking. what had caused my downward slide into my current state of continuing regressed adolescence? in fact, i think i may be a teenage boy. observe:

• i watch reruns of family guy and think lois is a good mother.
• i never hesitate to use a four-letter word when an equally inoffensive one would do just as well (not around the kids of course).
• i worship at the alter of kevin smith.
• i prefer the company of men to most females.
• i find it hysterically funny that my six year old son once remarked after coming and sitting on my lap after i had been out working in the yard on a hot summer day, “ewww mommy, you smell like tuna!”

i think the shift began sometime during my years at college. one of three sisters, i was raised by a baby-boom mother who had always taught me that “a lady doesn’t XXX (you fill in the blank).” so i didn’t. however, after being repeatedly asked by my guy friends, “you don’t have any brothers do you?” in a slightly irritated and condescending way, i realized that apparently i had some huge glaring character flaw which made it obvious to all observers that i had not grown up privy to the peccadillo’s of the male of the human species and had little ability to hide my disdain for them.

so i began to observe how boys behaved. i watched the nonchalance of their interactions. i studied their vernacular. i discovered the joys of raunchy teen movies. i read about sports. i learned how to inconspicuously pee in a lake after drinking a lot of beer while water skiing. i let go of my pre-conceived goody-girl notions. in essence, i learned how to just hang with the guys. and if i didn’t completely embrace all the testosterone fueled, Y-chromosome-based behaviors, well at least i learned how to fake it pretty good.

which brings me back to the present. i wouldn’t say i seek out the company of men over women. it’s just that typically i find them not as complicated, less conniving, more forgiving, easily amused, and the same level of maturity.

so, i guess it all boils down to this: you’re only as young, or as immature as you feel. and maybe, eventually, i’ll act my age. but probably not.