i’m going to an 80s party this weekend. the invitation asked that we dig deep in those closets and come dressed as we were back in the day. problem is, no one dresses up for an 80s party based on how they actually looked in the 80s. they dress how they WISHED they had looked in the 80s.
that’s because most of us, or me anyway, lacked the skills to really make myself resemble anything remotely like what i was seeing on mtv. plus, if you know me, you know i was more interested in looking like a virginal preppy than the material girl.
here’s a perfect example. i found this photo while ransacking the closets.
i’m not really sure when this was taken, as i used one of those polaroid instamatics which spit the picture out and it developed right before your eyes, so there’s no date on it. but i’m going to put it right about 1985.
i’m not exactly sure WHAT i was trying to accomplish, but i’m guessing i was trying to make my hair big. i just wasn’t
entirelyremotely successful. i distinctly remember this night and taking before and after shots (no i’m not showing the before) so i know i was trying to doll myself up.
i’m pretty sure i was aiming for something like this:
behold lisa hartman. owner of the best 80s female mullet. ever.
i loved this woman. i wanted to be this woman. i thought she was absolutely gorgeous, and genetically blessed, and she incited a veritable amount of envy in girls, and lust in boys.
anyway, so i decided that i was going to find a way to wear my hair like this to the party. i start rummaging around on the internet looking for wigs, because i figured, since i was never able to achieve that level of awesomeness the first go-around, the second attempt wouldn’t be any better. so i found and ordered this:
and then unbelievably, i stumbled across this. WTF ya’ll?
no, that’s not my before picture. that’s my beloved lisa. holy EFFING crap. i spent years thinking if i could just fix my hair i could look like her and NOW i realize, what i really needed was a nose job.
ok, so now i feel a little deceived but also a WHOLE lot better. lisa really was just one of us after all. i’ve also decided, i’m not going to stress about my hair either. my husband’s going to wear the mullet wig i bought. he needs it more anyway.
pictures will be forthcoming. i promise.
mullets are always in style at humor-blogs.com