i’m going to an 80s party this weekend. the invitation asked that we dig deep in those closets and come dressed as we were back in the day. problem is, no one dresses up for an 80s party based on how they actually looked in the 80s. they dress how they WISHED they had looked in the 80s.
that’s because most of us, or me anyway, lacked the skills to really make myself resemble anything remotely like what i was seeing on mtv. plus, if you know me, you know i was more interested in looking like a virginal preppy than the material girl.
here’s a perfect example. i found this photo while ransacking the closets.
i’m not really sure when this was taken, as i used one of those polaroid instamatics which spit the picture out and it developed right before your eyes, so there’s no date on it. but i’m going to put it right about 1985.
i’m not exactly sure WHAT i was trying to accomplish, but i’m guessing i was trying to make my hair big. i just wasn’t entirelyremotely successful. i distinctly remember this night and taking before and after shots (no i’m not showing the before) so i know i was trying to doll myself up.
i’m pretty sure i was aiming for something like this:
behold lisa hartman. owner of the best 80s female mullet. ever.
i loved this woman. i wanted to be this woman. i thought she was absolutely gorgeous, and genetically blessed, and she incited a veritable amount of envy in girls, and lust in boys.
anyway, so i decided that i was going to find a way to wear my hair like this to the party. i start rummaging around on the internet looking for wigs, because i figured, since i was never able to achieve that level of awesomeness the first go-around, the second attempt wouldn’t be any better. so i found and ordered this:
and then unbelievably, i stumbled across this. WTF ya’ll?
no, that’s not my before picture. that’s my beloved lisa. holy EFFING crap. i spent years thinking if i could just fix my hair i could look like her and NOW i realize, what i really needed was a nose job.
ok, so now i feel a little deceived but also a WHOLE lot better. lisa really was just one of us after all. i’ve also decided, i’m not going to stress about my hair either. my husband’s going to wear the mullet wig i bought. he needs it more anyway.
pictures will be forthcoming. i promise.
XOXOXOXO
mullets are always in style at humor-blogs.com
Leigh Online 
Ehhhhh…what the hell is that….ummm… sub-particle substance misting in the air in that last shot?? It looks like, best case scenario, someone just had a big sneeze. And her arm looks kind of…slippery…yikes.
Anyhoo, onto the party…have fun! I went to one a couple of years ago and wore torn jeans and a Ratt concert t-shirt that I got back in the 80’s at their concert. Everybody called me “Ratt Girl” and I felt very complimented (strangely enough).
Party On!
Bex
what the hell is right! i didn’t notice that before, but thanks for pointing that out. that whole picture just creeps me out. like cheesy 70s porn.
Hmm. I went back to some old photos of myself in the 80’s and discovered I not only still dress the same, I’m still wearing some of the same clothing. I suppose that will at least keep my costuming costs down.
This makes me want to pull out my HS yearbook and do some scanning.
All I can tell you is that every morning started out the same for me; 25 minutes with a curling iron and AQUA NET. Then I’d gingerly comb out the hairlo and go forth, hatless, into the frozen morning to await my bus. My hair more than doubled the diameter of my head.
Awesome!! You rocked the 80s dude! I had a mullet… [she said shamefully]
thanks so much for the comments. i’d like to see some reciprocal 80s self-outing. the glove has been thrown down.
Mullets are a under-appreciated part of American culture. And after looking throw my old photo albums I must say that back in the day, I was quite cultured.
Viva the days of uber usage of hairspray and jean jackets. Oh, and leg warmers w/heels. I wanted to be Olivia Newton John, btw, at the END of Grease, when she went to the darkside.
Mullet! I am afraid to admit that I had one of those. And better yet I griped when my workplace kept requiring me to cut the back. THE NERVE!
no way would i go trolling through my old photos. too scary. come to think of it, i don’t like looking at any of them! isn’t it weird how the old styles come back. i often think… if i had just kept them… but then again, i couldn’t squeeze back into them unless i cut an arm and leg off. love your blog!
I’m pretty sure that I looked about the same in the 80s as I do now. One thing about not being very stylish is that you don’t have to look back 20 years later and go, “WTF was I thinking?!”