i’m not a stripper…my nails just look that way

this week my daughter and i had a mother/daughter bonding day. she’s been bugging me for weeks about getting her nails done (she’s 11, by the way) and i had been stalling her until school was out. so this week, i finally relented and took her to the nail salon.

i was only there for her to get her nails done, but something got into me, and i came home looking like this:

nails.jpg

don’t ask me what i was thinking, because typing is a real bitch now, and typically, i’m pretty low maintenance. aside from the bi-monthly visits to my colorist for highlights. and the occasional toni and guy haircut. and the veneers. and the surg… ok, never mind.

anyway, i thought a french manicure was a pretty respectable kind of thing, but apparently, it’s become the manicure of choice for strippers. a reporter conducted an “official” survey at a men’s club here in houston which showed a majority of strippers preferred the french manicure. 

no mention of the preferred stripper pedicure, but i’m thinking it’s probably somewhere along these lines.

toenails.jpg

anyway, so now that i’ve got the nails, i’ve been feeling a little different. a little sassy. a little hotter. i’m exactly the same as i was before…only a little bit better.

don’t hate biatchez.

biatch4.jpg

Humor-Blogs.com

Advertisements

14 thoughts on “i’m not a stripper…my nails just look that way

  1. Bex

    YEAH you are! But. The toes are making my skin crawl. I think if I had long toe nails like that and rolled over to my husband in bed he would probably leave the room screaming, thinking some kind of prehistoric beast was crawling in. The Snaggle-Toe-Asaurus.

    Reply
  2. carymc

    My toes look sort of like those toes, but dirtier and more yellow. No, I don’t have them done.. I’m just too lazy to cut them. It helps with traction when you’re barefoot, anyway, especially if climbing a tree to escape an angry dog. I shimmy right up like a raccoon.

    Reply
  3. don

    I don’t know, those toe nails would probably get you an extra couple of extra miles per hour in a free style swimming event.

    Reply
  4. Tracy

    I love them and you are so hood!
    Those toenails freak me out! I don’t think I could handle those. How would I wear my sneakers because Lord knows, chasing three kids around stripper shoes are out of the question.

    Reply
  5. tys

    those toe nails looks positively scary….pretty but scary…but hey, i bet u can dig a hole with your legs real past or spear anyone who messes with u with a kick…nice.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s