just one of the guys

woo hoo! i’m riding pretty high today, because i’ve broken through the glass ceiling!

that’s right, yours truly is currently in the top 10 of all time highest ranking posts at H-B (so far) and i’m the only girl. sweet!MyBoys.jpg

1. 15 minute lunch – 70 points
2. mattress police – 48 points
3. mattress police – 46 points
4. 15 minute lunch – 40 points
5. 15 minute lunch – 38 points
6. the reasonable ego – 37 points
7. the reasonable ego – 33 points
8. try to keep up – 31 points
9. leighonline – 31 points
10. 15 minute lunch – 31 points

no, that post is not the one where i talked about my boobs, so actually, the only conclusion i can draw is that you like me, you really like me. and i like you too.

i have to admit, i much prefer hanging with the guys, because you’re a lot funnier. and well, you’re not bitches. in fact, i’ve almost given up on trying to be friends with women, because i can’t stand all the drama. it’s like high school never ended.

here’s a perfect example of what i mean. i have two girlfriends who are also friends with each other…or so i thought. this weekend we are all going to be out of town for a swim meet. i tried to plan for all of us to get together to eat dinner and have some drinks.

me: so i invited candy and her husband to come meet us for drinks. mean.jpg

mean girl all grown up:uhhhh….well, you know i think we might have to change our plans.

me: what?!

MGAGU: well, the last time we went out with them, their kids behaved terribly and there was an incident in the car involving a diaper that Dan (her husband) hasn’t gotten over yet.

me: oh…well, i thought you guys were friends.

MGAGU: oh, we are! i would be fine with it, it’s just i know Dan won’t want to go if they go. don’t tell her that though. well, if you guys change your mind, call us.

first, poor candy planned this girl’s birthday party earlier this summer and bought her an expensive gift! second, i know this is complete bulsh*t, and third she totally tried to clean her @ss with her husband!

how do i know she was cleaning her @ss with DAN? 

weren’t you paying attention? because men are not bitches! they could care less who’s going to dinner. it’s an hour. there will be beer. they can deal with it.

no, this was all her. plus, i don’t like LYING for other people, and having to keep secrets, mostly because i’m not very good at keeping my mouth shut. oh, did i forget to mention that candy is hot and MGAGU is a butterface? i guess i did.

you know what guys? i totally understand the ceiling thing. keep those bitches out. just as long as i can stay in.

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24 thoughts on “just one of the guys

  1. Bee

    Yeah, my high scoring posts were removed in the tragic H-B database crash of ’08.
    Doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for you so:

  2. Stephanie

    I agree that guys are more fun to hang out with, but one women hanging out with all guys is kind of like the pyramid scheme. There just aren’t enough guys to go around for all of us to each have our own group of 3,4, or 5 guys. I don’t know what the solution is though – legislation? infanticide? move to China?

  3. Kirsten

    Congrats on being in the top ten! I hope to be another woman up there soon. I’m well on my way. Already #1008!!
    But I’m not a butterface with should count for a few points, right?!

  4. leigh Post author

    bee – sorry about that. you ARE ranked higher than me overall! i guess i just had one good post.

    damon – thank you! i’m in good company.

    chat – thanks for the shout out.

    rickey – pictures, rickey. i need pictures.

    mac – no pictures, mac. no pictures.

    bobman – thanks! hopefully it will last more than 20 days.

    stephanie – thanks for stopping by. i’m sorry if i’m hogging all the guys. i’ll try to share.

    jinksy – you sly devil. consider it your mission.

    kirsten – thanks for the comment and keep on writing. not being a butterface is always good.

  5. Blew

    weren’t you paying attention? because men are not bitches! they could care less who’s going to dinner. it’s an hour. there will be beer. they can deal with it.

    THAT is so true! Even without the beer…….ok maybe the beer stays!

  6. Sarah

    Women are SO PETTY.

    Really– I try to avoid hang out/get togethers.. and other women in general for the same exact reasons.

    Good Call

  7. julius bloop

    I have never heard the phrase “cleaning your ass” used to in place of “covering your ass”.

    But I thank you for this newfound, crass alternative.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to my job at the old folk’s home to yell at some seniors to “cover your ass”.


  8. leigh Post author

    blew – beer good. bitches bad.

    kevin – awwww. we’ve got to get you on the front page. i’m gonna go click for you.

    sarah – thanks for stopping by! sadly, i agree with you. most women suck. we really should be sticking together instead of tearing each other apart.

    rickey – you’ve got my email address, right?

    julius – covering your ass is making sure you don’t get effed. cleaning your ass is effing someone else in the process – a fine distinction.

  9. LeighAnne

    Leigh, your covering vs cleaning your ass definitions are fabulous. I will be using those… for sure!

    I thought it was just me who didn’t get along with chics… i’m at a new job and the ‘lady’ who was the youngest, best looking chic in the office before i started hates me. she’s already snitching to the bosses… ‘leighanne does this, leighanne doesn’t do that, blah, blah’ bitches blow.

  10. Sessie

    Well, Leigh, if she reads this blog, you won’t have to worry about going out to dinner with her ever again!

    Did I ever tell you about my “friend” in the old hood who called me to tell me she was sorry she “forgot” to invite me and my daughter to her daughter’s birthday party? Two years in a row?

    Those women did not like having me around because I wasn’t married at the time.

  11. Tony

    Girl! What a blast!! I always knew that there was a closeted writer hiding in you. While I am really impressed with your ability to manipulate words, I am not surprised. Your talent remains impressive. Don’t stop writing.



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