the first season of the humor bloggers fantasy football league has come to a close and the hubs has been pestering me to allow him to respond to all the smack talk that team “fantasy virgin” endured. so, i’ve finally gotten off my ass and put this together for him. (non-bloggers have no IDEA what a pain in the ass it is to find all those video links.)
personally, i don’t like smack talk, because i’m a huge believer in karma, but he earned this, so here goes.
“Even though Leigh deferred to me for her team picks, I have never played fantasy football before. Therefore, the name Fantasy Virgin is accurate. I am not a writer and have never blogged before. When I was writing this blog, I was drinking a glass of my favorite bourbon with coke. Leigh informed me that you should never write and blog. However, writing to me is kind of like dancing. I have to have a few drinks to get up the nerve.
There was a lot of smack talked about Leigh and her team throughout the season. This post is dedicated to each and everyone of the league members. If you wanna talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk.
Chris: Great job putting the league together. Nice try in the finals. You lost by one point to a team that should have won by at least 30. Just remember that second place is the first loser.
Rambler: You are the king of talking smack. you pulled a plaxico burress on yourself when you tried to slam my team. You have called my wife a fantasy slut and a dominatrix. I smacked your ass 3 times in one season. If fact, you lost by over 100 points in one game to me during the regular season. I thought I had a bye when I found out we had a game in the playoffs. rambler, how’s my a** taste?
Paula (Googled Eye Goons): You were some tough competition. Especially in our first meeting when I did not know WTF the w/r pick was. I picked Donald Driver instead of Adrian Peterson. You did accuse Leigh of using a penis to win this event. I will go on record as saying that I try to give Leigh the penis every chance I get.
What The Canuck: You were done as soon as Tom Brady went down.
Renal Failure: At one point, you falsely claimed to be the people’s champion. The people always like winners (Celtics, Lakers, Yankees, etc.). The TV networks love the Fantasy Virgins of the world…and you, renal failure, are no people’s champion. So that’s why when we played this season, the real people’s champion laid a smack down on your candy ass!
White Strypers: Pretty solid team, beat me once.
Washington Crooks: Beat you twice in the regular season. Unfortunately, your two losses in the consolation bowl makes those wins more irrelevant.
Predator Press: You rode LT and Eli into missing the playoffs. Of course LT had an incredible game the week after fantasy football was over.
Ricky: Only got to play you once. Other teams that played you twice got an extra unfair victory. You are the disgrace to fantasy football. The early 60’s Mets were better than your team.”
thanks everyone! it was great fun. hope we get to play next year.
Leigh’s hubs: Shaq’s a pretty good rapper, I have to say…and I already admitted that your wife was the Queen of the HBFFL.
And let’s see if you can come out from behind your wife next year and play your own team, Big Man? 😉
No one likes the Yankees. Liking the Yankees is equivalent to rooting for Ivan Drago in Rocky IV. The real People’s Champion would know this.
A disgrace? Who, Rickey? See, this is why women shouldn’t be allowed into fantasy sports leagues…
The league is expanding to 12 teams Mr. Leigh so I’ll save a spot for you. 🙂
Chris, Look forward to next year as “Defending Champion”.
Rambler, coming from behind my wife is a good thing. I am in for next year, not sure if playing fantasy sports makes someone a Big Man.
Ricky, people who do not pick their teams each week mess up the league..not women. Paula did an awesome job.
RF, I hate the Yankees too. Just hope the Peoples Champion can at least finish in the top three.
Allow me to go on record and say that I don’t get this whole fantasy league shit at all. Seems like a huge waste of time when you could be playing D&D, I mean GETTING LAID. D&D’s for fags! I dig girls!
so much anger over here. it’s really unbecoming. poor beaten souls.
Thats my girl!!!!!
The Colonel (AKA Poppy)
You’re right. The second I figure out who “LT” and “Eli” are, they are officially off the team.
-I can’t find their RBIs ANYWHERE.