i’m just not feeling it (that’s what she said)

ok, so i must be the last person to finally watch juno. and i have to say, i’m having a hard time understanding what all the fuss is about. seriously, a flick about a pregnant 16-year-old girl is the feel-good movie of 2007?

sure, juno was a decent little film, but a nomination for best picture? i guess the academy was trying to up it’s cred by going all sundance on us.

yeah, diablo cody, i applaud you for getting off the pole and having a real career (now you won’t end up on rock of love 3). however, after viewing this film twice in two days, i think there’s big enough holes in that screenplay to drive a surburban through. honest.jpg

first, pregnancy is serious business. but diablo has managed to make being pregnant seem hip and cool and completely without consequences. girl has sex, girl gets pregnant, girl has baby, girl gives baby up for adoption, and they all lived happily every after.

here’s how it really goes down: girl has sex, girl gets STD, gets pregnant, parents freak out, girl gets kicked out of house/runs away, mean kids at school tease girl unmercifully/girl drops out, boy wants nothing at all to do with girl ever again, girl has serious complications with pregnancy due to being so young which result in premature birth. yeah, that’s how it REALLY happens.

second, there’s the dialogue. i’m sorry but real 16-year-olds do not talk like this. they’re just not that smart. plus, some of the dialogue was a little moldy. my old roommate used to say homeskillet, and that was in 1994.

third, jason bateman’s character was just plain old creepy, and i’ve liked him ever since he played the fat kid in stand by me. j/k. he was the fat kid in goonies. no, really, i think jason bateman and jerry o’connell are really the same person. i mean, have you ever seen them together? i didn’t think so.

i’ve heard some parents saying, “oh, i think everyone who has kids should let them see this movie. it would keep *my* kid from having sex.” pleeez.

you want to scare your kids, have them watch kids. this movie made me want to swear off sex and i was already married.

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12 thoughts on “i’m just not feeling it (that’s what she said)

  1. Bee

    I just watched this movie over the weekend. I didn’t like it either but my main issue was the dialogue. It felt to me like it was trying to be another Napoleon Dynamite.
    I agree with the Jason Bateman character. When they danced, I felt like I had worms all over my body.

    And not the good kind of worms.

    Reply
  2. Bex

    I haven’t seen it yet. I will wait for it to come on HBO. Then, I’ll plan my night around it and have my beer and FRESHLY popped popcorn all set. It will start at 8PM and I will be asleep by 8:30. And then somehow I’ll be all surprised that I have popcorn stuck between my sheets the next morning and that I can’t recall the movie plot. Good times.

    Reply
  3. Meg

    I’ve seen both Kids and Juno. While I appreciate the honesty of Kids, I love the quirkiness of Juno. And I thought Jason Bateman’s character was believable. What that says about me – I don’t even want to go there.

    Reply
  4. leigh Post author

    bex – why do you think i had to watch it twice.

    meg – i didn’t hate juno and i thought it was a cute movie. i think jason’s character was believable too. that’s why it was so creepy.

    Reply
  5. Sue

    I agree – I’d been dying to see it and was really disappointed. All Juno’s lines were just so contrived. It’s the same reason i don’t like Dennis Miller.

    Reply
  6. Tracy

    I have Juno on my netflix list and for some reason, as with all of these movies that get so much award buzz, I feel it’s my duty to watch it. But then, I also watched Superbad and didn’t get it at all.
    And I’m with you on the sex edu. for kids. When I was in high school, I remember watching movies of people with these cuddly little babies and they were so cute and tiny and I wanted one.
    Now I have three. Sex Ed. should have them when they are collicy, constipated, teething, sleepy, TWO. Ooh and as one of their assignments, they should have to take them on a two hour shopping trip at nap time. That would make the teen pregnancy rate go WAY DOWN!

    Reply
  7. Hänni

    No need to watch Kids. Tracy’s comment on constipation and colic has me seriously considering a life of celibacy.

    BTW babies are blessings. My niece is the result of a teenage pregnancy and i wouldn’t trade that beautiful babe for the world.

    Reply
  8. Tracy

    Hanni- for the record, I totally agree that babies are a blessing. I just think that you should be ready for a lifelong blessing and atleast for me, at 16 I was SO not ready!

    Reply

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