good lord. puh-leez, make it stop. tonight the king is on the throne…but unfortunately, so is the queen.
tomorrow morning my husband goes in for his colonoscopy. he’s spent the afternoon prepping himself for his procedure. and by prepping himself i mean he’s barricaded himself in the master bathroom.
apparently, if you can call it that, he got lucky. his doctor skipped the poo punch and let him take poo pills instead. he’s consumed a grand total of 32 pills, 2 cans of sprite, and 48 ounces of water. he’s now officially peeing poop.
unfortunately, i seem to have either picked up the stomach flu sometime after lunch, or i have the worst case of sympathy shits known to man.
me: uuuuuughhhhh. i feel horrible!
hubs: excuse me if i’m having trouble feeling any sympathy for you.
me: if i didn’t know better, i’d think you slipped me one of those pills.
hubs: ordinarily i would have, but i needed them all.
between the two of us, we’ve managed to stink up two, count ’em, two downstairs bathrooms worse than the greyhound bus station shitters. my bedroom smells like a port-a-potty at wurstfest. this is beyond match-lighting stank. even the kids are disgusted for chrissakes and nobody loves poopy humor more than my boy.
the bad news? i hope one of us is in decent condition to take him to the doctor in the morning.
the good news? i’ve lost 5 pounds already!!!