the bitch is back

yeah, it’s been a while. and it’s not you, it’s definitely me. well, maybe it is you… a little.

anyway, i guess i just hadn’t been pissed off enough to bitch about anything, or the creative juices weren’t flowing or something. but recently i received a sweet myspace message from a girl named lily on behalf of her mom.

lily, i tried to message you back, but i can’t because your profile is private (good to know those security controls are working. nice work, tom.) and i can’t add you. why don’t you add me first, and then i can accept and we can be friends. cool? cool! btw, your mom is supercool to let you have a myspace account. i won’t let my daughter have one yet, but she does have an IBY account. apparently, all the coolest middle schoolers have it.

anyhoo, lily’s mom is a big fan and wants to know what annoying song has been playing on my blog. it’s called in these shoes and is by the late british singer kirsty maccoll, who was killed in a tragic boating accident in mexico in 2000. she had just finished recording the album this song is from. you can read more about her here, if you’re interested. oh, and lily’s mom? feel free to leave a comment, and then you can ask me anything you want! lily can show you how. geez, kids these days.

so, where was i? oh yes….my family. my lovely family. my raison d’blog.flasher.jpg

now, i’ll be the first to admit i’m not the best cook in the world, but at least i try, dear readers, i try.

so when i was at walmart this weekend picking up some frozen pizzas and ice cream for the extra freezer in the laundry room, i (with the best intentions) picked up some frozen fish fillets.

i spent several hours making a spinach souffle, glazed carrots, corn, rice and lastly, baking the fish. i was feeling pretty good about making a nutritious dinner for my family, so of course, this is what i get.

hubs: uhhhh…what the eff is this?

me: it’s fish.

hubs: it’s…square…

me: (so’s your head) well, it was frozen.

hubs: i liked the fresh fish you made last time.

me: well, *this* time i didn’t get a chance to go to HEB. and i’m holding a very large knife.

hubs: (grabs package off counter) there’s a guy in a plastic raincoat on the box. do you know what i think about when i see a DUDE wearing a raincoat? and it sure as crap has nothing to do with fish, except for maybe the trouser trout kind. hey kids! daddy’s going out for a bucket of chicken! last one in the car’s a rotten egg!!!

that’s it people. you’re on your own. the peanut butter’s in the pantry.

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13 thoughts on “the bitch is back

  1. Doug at Taunt Vortex

    Were they Mrs. Paul’s fish sticks? Did you know she’s Ron Paul’s mother? So if you eat those fish stick, you’re helping to fund his presidential campaign. That’s what I read on the internets, anyways.

    Reply
  2. HeyJoe

    Square fish + guy in raincoat = Gorton’s fish fillets.

    Hey, you gave it a shot right? Guess we all need to stick with our strengths and my guess is that you could drink any one of them under the table.

    Good to see you, BTW.

    Reply
  3. Leigh's Mom

    Leigh, they all need a good spanking for that behavior. As I used to tell you, there are children starving in China.

    Reply
  4. leigh Post author

    doug – the man wants to abolish the federal income tax. that’s all i need to know.

    heyjoe – give the man a gold star! thanks. it’s good to be back.

    mom – that’s the only way you got me to eat kale.

    candice – now see?! that’s exactly what i said!

    Reply
  5. Bee

    BWAHAHAHA!! “so’s your head”!! Love it!

    Glad you’re back but is your life back to normal? You have water now? No more bacteria in your tummy?

    Reply
  6. leigh Post author

    bee – yes. everything’s back to “normal,” so to speak. how’s everything in chi-town? hope everything dried up there as well.

    Reply
  7. HeyJoe

    When I read your response above to Bee about “chi-town,” I immediately thought of “china,” as in girl’s have chinas.

    But THEN you said “hope everything dried up there as well” and I thought, “WHY would Leigh want Bee’s china to dry up” and assumed you were referring to Chicago.

    Do I get another gold star?

    Reply
  8. leigh Post author

    heyjoe – actually, i’m very concerned about the level of humidity surrounding bee’s china. nobody wants their wedgewood getting all moldy.

    Reply
  9. dad

    Leigh,you are a wonderful cook. I have eaten with relish your leg of lamb, your roasts, your spagetti sauce with pasta, and other gourmet dishes that you have prepared over the years. (Now this is really serious no joke and not because Leigh is No. 1 daughter).

    I will bet that fish was delicious too.

    Lovingly,

    the Colonel AKA Dad/Poppy

    Reply

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