i’ve got a secret. i don’t know if i should tell any of you, because i don’t feel like getting a ration of sh*t. today is election day and i’ll be honest. i’m having a really hard time deciding who’s the least crappy candidate.
see, here’s the problem. i don’t really *like* any of the final choices that the parties have come up with.
first let’s take john mccain. john apparently has some anger and sarcasm issues which are not at all attractive, and then there’s all the facial expressions and camera mugging which makes it virtually impossible to watch him for any extended length of time. plus, he’s batsh*t crazy, but being held in captivity for five years by the north vietnamese will do that to you.
then there’s sarah palin. i love that the republicans said, “you’ve got a black guy? well, check this sh*t out!” i think i like her, but i suspect this has more to do with the fact that i like tina fey, and it would be really great to watch tina impersonate her on SNL for the next four years.
then there’s obama. probably the least objectionable personality in the bunch, but even hillary clinton said he wasn’t qualified, and i think we should believe her since we all know who was really wearing the pants in the white house when bill was president, mostly because his were down all of the time.
and then there’s biden. this guy needs a cork in his pie hole.
WTF is wrong with the parties!? this is the BEST they could do? where’s the charisma? these people are all assholes!
and why would they even want to be president NOW? whoever wins is going to inherit the biggest economic clusterf*ck since the great depression. regardless of who gets elected, we’re in for a bumpy ride.
i’ve voted for both dems and republicans and based on those experiences, i can say i completely understand the old adage, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”
here’s what i want:
- both dems and republicans have shown that left to their own devices, they will eff us all over for their own financial gain. therefore, i demand regulation and consequences for the powerful wall street firms whose CEOs would bankrupt companies and then leave with golden parachutes, AND the likes of franklin raines and those who would cook the fannie and freddie books to line their own pockets.
- the right of women to have reproductive control over their bodies – just don’t expect me to pay for their abortions.
- legalize pot, tax the crap out of it, and balance the budget with just the proceeds from california alone.
problem solved! find me a candidate with a platform like that and i’ll be first in line to vote. until then, i think i’m just gonna sit this one out.