what? i’m fired?

you know what i hate? when i’m being all women’s libby and stuff. and putting air in my tires at the gas station and some big, sweaty, muscular construction worker pulls up in his pickup truck, gets out and comes up to me and says, “hi, i’m steve. do you need some help with that?” hotdude.JPG

i hate that! and by hate i mean, would you mind taking off your shirt and rubbing some of this baby oil all over your chest and then stand there with this big hammer in your hand?

me: (looking around to see if this specimen is talking to me) uhhhh… hi. no, i’m fine. i’ve got a flat. i’m just going to drive it home.

specimen: are you ok?  do you live far?

me: no, i’m fine. i’m just about a mile down the road. plus, i have another car at home i can drive.

specimen: that sure is a nice car. what do you do?

me: i work for a software company. (foreshadowing)

specimen: ok, well, i’m just working in the area. you sure are mechanically inclined.

me: (*crickets* it’s freaking air, steve) well, my dad taught me some stuff.

specimen: well, very nice to meet you. have a nice day. (smiles and teeth flash blindingly)

me: (recovering) uhhhh….yeah! you too!

oh, yeah, i almost forgot. i got laid off today. fuckers. i hate you too.

26 thoughts on “what? i’m fired?

  1. leigh

    neo – yes, i’m totally serious. it’s probably a blessing in disguise. i was over that place anyway. i’ll find something better. thanks for the concern.

    did you ever see the first link you had given for your blog?

  2. Bee

    Oh what the F*CK!! :o(

    I’ve been afraid to make the leap from where I work because I know for better or worse, this freakin job is stable.

    I’m sorry to hear that, Leigh.

  3. leigh Post author

    bee – that’s what I said! i know. i worked somewhere for 9 years and endured many layoffs. then i quit and now i’ve been laid off twice in about 2 years. oh well. something better will come along.

    strangely, this is the most i felt like blogging in months!

    thank you.

  4. HeyJoe

    “Specimen.” hee

    Sucks about the layoff. Usually it works out for the best, although in my case the best took about three years. But then I’m an unmotivated loser with no skills.

    So there you go.

  5. Doug at Taunt Vortex

    Leigh, sorry about that. You do know that Austin is a tech mecca,right? And it wouldn’t be that far to move, right? And of course you’ll need someplace to live, right? And you’d be interested in buying my house in a down market, right?

    Seriously, I hope that didn’t sound self-serving. You sound bright and competent so I’m sure you’ll find something you like better.

  6. leigh Post author

    rickey – thanks. maybe i’ll go into politics. leigh in 2012!

    candice – see? i should have known things were going to get bad once that felt went up.

    heyjoe – you’re in good company. 🙂

  7. leigh Post author

    doug – you know, before i got this job, i worked in financial services for 9 years. i left willingly. i *thought* i wanted to work for a software company. i think i’m going to try healthcare next.

    i would love to move back to austin. that’s actually where i grew up! my folks still live in barton hills, original owners of a lovely 70s ranch style home. i’m think i’m over high tech, however. dell blows worse than my company.

  8. Tina

    I’m really sorry to hear about the layoff but, honestly, I almost missed that part because I couldn’t take my eyes off the construction worker. I think I’m going to go poke a hole in my tire.

    Srsly, this economy is ridiculous. Best wishes to you.

  9. Bex

    Oh, Snap. I have been in a blog-free cocoon cuz my husband was laid off in September. Last month he took a job in Florida and left me here in the ATL with three kids and a goddamn dog. And a stupid house to sell.

    The good news? We have to have new sod put down because, apparently, our current “grass” is actually not grass at all. In fact it is just made up of moss, weeds and greenish bugs. That’s not the good news. The good news is that the guy who is going to do it is HHHOTTT. So I’ve got that going for me….

    But I’m sorry you lost your job. And the fact that you’ve been dealing with a velcro bathroom door this whole time – that just adds insult to injury. FUCKERS! Do they even KNOW who you ARE??! You are Leigh-fuckin-online!!! I am going to take the goldfish and storm out of here, too!

    Good luck, Sista!

  10. Mark

    What a drag! I’m so sorry to hear about that Leigh.

    I guess if they start using velcro in construction projects around the workplace, we should all start polishing up the resumes!

  11. Ed

    I think everyone should leap out into the unknown at least
    every 10 – 20 years…..even if it takes getting fired to do it.

    (The Colonel)

  12. Bex


    WTF?! I stopped in to see what has been going on since your liberation from the velcro potty place and you haven’t written ANYTHING…what’s up??? I MADE time specifically to drop in and see what’s new…and you’re not home. FINE.

    Oh, and Diesel is right – the dude in his caption contest IS way hotter. How do you do it, Diesel??

  13. Candice

    Okay woman, I’m going into Leigh withdrawal. I tagged you so that you can blog about something and make me laugh. No pressure.. Just come to my blog and follow the damn directions.

    NOW! 😉


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